1. Not allowed to download music on the CODEC.

2. Not allowed to order Domino’s over the CODEC.

3. Must stop asking Otacon to install solitaire on CODEC.

4. Though I may like Fountains of Wayne’s “Stacy’s Mom” doesn’t mean Otacon will. Really.

5. Telling Otacon Japan blew up wasn’t funny the first time, it won’t be funny the second time. (Or…will it?)

6. Vamp doesn’t appreciate the generalization that “once you go black, you never go back.”

7. Lindsey Lohan isn’t a Metal Gear.

8. Nor is Tom Cruise.

9. Posting “No Girls Allowed” on my cardboard box will not keep enemy sentries out. 

10. Chicken Fox isn’t “finger lickin’ good.”

11. Those magazines are for the enemy.

12. Raiden’s hair isn’t like that “because he’s worth it”. Stop telling him that.

13. His name is either Otacon or Hal. Not ‘Samurai Kawaii Desu Neko’.

14. Every time Liquid introduces himself as such, grabbing my crotch and saying “I bet you are” isn’t funny. No matter how much he deserves it.

15. Convincing Raiden Guitar Hero, DDR or World of Warcraft were forms of VR training wasn’t funny.

16. Even if Campbell thought it was.

17. Meryl Silverburgh doesn’t find the Pokemon jokes funny. Especially when armed.

18. When filling out any sort of form ‘THE ORANGE’ or “Locker” aren’t appropriate home addresses.

19. I am Solid Snake, not Calvin

20. And Otacon isn’t Hobbes, either.

21. But that doesn't mean I can't hug him. (~amethyst_wolf )

22. Remember the mission details, not the gyration of Meryl's (or any other sentry's) ass; no matter how important it may be. (~ ferrocyanide AKA failer of counting )

23. The box is not a substitute for weapons/clothing/food/happiness/otacon/a life/a romantic partner.

24. You can manage to avoid drowning. (~ametori)

25. You, also, like meeeen. (~ametori)

26. No, my bandana does not actually supply me with infinite ammo. I just have a lot of pockets but it's still fun to lie to Raiden. (~sovietadamushka)

27. I should probably stop lying to Raiden. (~sovietadamushka)

28. Eating Yoshis is socially acceptable. (~saphrawn)

29. A sneaking suit is one hell of a good way to show that you have a nice ass. (~raging_raven)

30. Japanese proverbs are not a good filler for a lack of smalltalk. (~raging_raven)